Hating Love
“Love never fails..” 1 Corinthians 13:8
Kelli Congelli, writing in MSN music column gives this tongue-in-cheek advice in an aptly titled article, “Anti-Valentine”, just in time for those to whom Valentine’s Day is a nothing but a painful reminder of the failure of love. She writes, “You can simply choose to hate love. I mean, really despise the sucker. Wear black. Spit on flowers. Fill your ears not with the sweet nothings of others but with the wails, moans and cries of musicians who have the decency to remind us of love's disastrous qualities.” Though it is probably a humorous attempt to introduce the top “I hate love” songs of all times that follow, I suspect that the idea resonates with a universal appeal, for love is a universal quest, and in one way or another, at one time or another, we all find solidarity in a failure of this ideal.
In the midst of this, St. Paul’s unequivocal declaration, “Love never fails”, sounds like an outlandish claim for this “many-splendored thing”. Either Paul was being sappy, and using sentimental exaggeration as a pep-talk to the Corinthians, or he was talking of a different kind of love. I think Paul was the last person you would expect to get maudlin. I suggest Paul is talking about a different kind of love, a love that really never fails.
Incidentally Paul was writing to the Corinthians who boasted of that infamous temple of Aphrodite, the goddess of love. And to a culture to which love was some sort of euphoric sensation, Paul writes about a love that was a deliberate decision, even in times when that decision seemed burdensome. Just listen to how he begins by extolling the virtues of this love that never fails: “Love is patient, love is kind”. He is immediately implying that there are times when all of natural inclinations justify being impatient, and unkind, but love chooses to be patient and kind. And all of the rest of the virtues of love that follow imply the same – a decision to love against natural inclinations. And this decisive love, Paul says, never fails.
Yet what does it mean that “love never fails”. In an age where at least in a certain sense failed love is as common as the evening news, in what way exactly does this decisive love never fail? I suggest that there are at least three senses in which this love never fails.
First, it does not fail as in “love is changeless.” That is, this love is timeless, and eternal. It will never fade. The rest of the virtues and gifts have a limited usefulness, but love transcends time.
Second it does not fail as in “love is consistent.” This decisive sort of love is reliable – you can count on it. Circumstances do not alter its motivations. It does not fail to come through.
But there is another way in which love never fails and it is the crowning glory of this love. Love never fails as in “love is triumphant”. It never fails to bring about its desired effect. Elsewhere, Paul uses the same Greek word for “fail”, and it is translated, “has no effect”. In other words, this love that Paul is talking about never fails to take effect. It is always victorious. Where strength and might fail, this decisive, unconditional love comes back victorious. It is guaranteed to accomplish its purpose. Is there a barrier to a relationship? You have tried everything, and it has only alienated you more? This sort of love is guaranteed to triumph in overcoming that barrier. Is there a heart that you simply cannot seem to reach? You have tried threats, emotion, manipulation? This love is guaranteed to reach that unresponsive heart. It is a love that never fails.
Yes, there is indeed a love that is selfish. It is indulged in because of how it makes one feel, and sometime or another that love fails, and as one of the popular songs of the day says “It’ll make you hear a symphony, And you’ll just want the world to see, But like a drunk that makes you blind, It’ll fool you every time”. It is a love that when done, it makes you hate love.
But there is a love, a love that God displays, and allows us to emulate. It is the love that allowed God to love a humanity in sinful rebellion, that allowed the very Son of God to suffer on the Cross, and the love that is extended to each one of us. It is the love of God, and God never fails. Therefore, this love never fails!
Danesh Manik
Kelli Congelli, writing in MSN music column gives this tongue-in-cheek advice in an aptly titled article, “Anti-Valentine”, just in time for those to whom Valentine’s Day is a nothing but a painful reminder of the failure of love. She writes, “You can simply choose to hate love. I mean, really despise the sucker. Wear black. Spit on flowers. Fill your ears not with the sweet nothings of others but with the wails, moans and cries of musicians who have the decency to remind us of love's disastrous qualities.” Though it is probably a humorous attempt to introduce the top “I hate love” songs of all times that follow, I suspect that the idea resonates with a universal appeal, for love is a universal quest, and in one way or another, at one time or another, we all find solidarity in a failure of this ideal.
In the midst of this, St. Paul’s unequivocal declaration, “Love never fails”, sounds like an outlandish claim for this “many-splendored thing”. Either Paul was being sappy, and using sentimental exaggeration as a pep-talk to the Corinthians, or he was talking of a different kind of love. I think Paul was the last person you would expect to get maudlin. I suggest Paul is talking about a different kind of love, a love that really never fails.
Incidentally Paul was writing to the Corinthians who boasted of that infamous temple of Aphrodite, the goddess of love. And to a culture to which love was some sort of euphoric sensation, Paul writes about a love that was a deliberate decision, even in times when that decision seemed burdensome. Just listen to how he begins by extolling the virtues of this love that never fails: “Love is patient, love is kind”. He is immediately implying that there are times when all of natural inclinations justify being impatient, and unkind, but love chooses to be patient and kind. And all of the rest of the virtues of love that follow imply the same – a decision to love against natural inclinations. And this decisive love, Paul says, never fails.
Yet what does it mean that “love never fails”. In an age where at least in a certain sense failed love is as common as the evening news, in what way exactly does this decisive love never fail? I suggest that there are at least three senses in which this love never fails.
First, it does not fail as in “love is changeless.” That is, this love is timeless, and eternal. It will never fade. The rest of the virtues and gifts have a limited usefulness, but love transcends time.
Second it does not fail as in “love is consistent.” This decisive sort of love is reliable – you can count on it. Circumstances do not alter its motivations. It does not fail to come through.
But there is another way in which love never fails and it is the crowning glory of this love. Love never fails as in “love is triumphant”. It never fails to bring about its desired effect. Elsewhere, Paul uses the same Greek word for “fail”, and it is translated, “has no effect”. In other words, this love that Paul is talking about never fails to take effect. It is always victorious. Where strength and might fail, this decisive, unconditional love comes back victorious. It is guaranteed to accomplish its purpose. Is there a barrier to a relationship? You have tried everything, and it has only alienated you more? This sort of love is guaranteed to triumph in overcoming that barrier. Is there a heart that you simply cannot seem to reach? You have tried threats, emotion, manipulation? This love is guaranteed to reach that unresponsive heart. It is a love that never fails.
Yes, there is indeed a love that is selfish. It is indulged in because of how it makes one feel, and sometime or another that love fails, and as one of the popular songs of the day says “It’ll make you hear a symphony, And you’ll just want the world to see, But like a drunk that makes you blind, It’ll fool you every time”. It is a love that when done, it makes you hate love.
But there is a love, a love that God displays, and allows us to emulate. It is the love that allowed God to love a humanity in sinful rebellion, that allowed the very Son of God to suffer on the Cross, and the love that is extended to each one of us. It is the love of God, and God never fails. Therefore, this love never fails!
Danesh Manik
Labels: God. Agape, Love, Valentine, Valentine's Day
posted by Danesh Manik | 10:57 AM
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